We were a few weeks into our roadtrip through Europe and everyone was melting down. I was having my own troubles. A headache, anxiety after an Austrian guy was unfriendly with me and I missed lunch. I brought it together after a meal. My wife was having pain, a period, and menopause. My eldest daughter said she dislikes the van and was angry at me for bringing her to Sweden, claiming she will be held back in math over an algebra concept she hadn't learned. My youngest daughter is an iPad junkie. Our dog got quarantined by the Irish. Fire canceled our plans in the French Riviera. We were about to go off the grid into the Czech forest for a week at a hippie creativity festival, no electricity, no plumbing, and we had some anxiety about it.
Travel isn't easy.
It's an art rolling with the punches on the road. The fact is when you travel abroad you are guests outside of your country and you are alone with strangers, everything new and unfamiliar. Things go wrong. Campsites are full. You can get lost or hurt or robbed or ripped off. It is only a matter of time before it happens.
Events aside, there is also the internal compass and mood and how this changes over the course of a trip. It matters how excited you are to be in a place. Do you love the people? The culture? Are there things you love to do there that you can access? If so, the romance can keep you afloat. If not, you might find yourself wondering what you are doing so far from home.
Moods change with hormones, meals, sleep, and other forms of balance in the body-mind. When we are hungry or over-caffeinated or cold or tired the world can take on a sinister look to it. Our minds can begin to interpret events and intentions in a worse way than they really are. It is important to recognize these moods and that they often pass with rest and replenishment. These are signs that a break is needed.
It matters, too, how old you are and who you are traveling with. The best time to travel is in your late teens and twenties, sorry to say. Our life is a big exploration, and while our minds if we are lucky never stop learning and exploring, there is just so much more to gain traveling while younger. The reward is the thrill of new experiences and meeting other people when you are young that just isn't there when you get older and get more into things like history and language. Sure, the romance and beauty is there, too, but it may be more about your relationship with a world you have already discovered and prefer to enjoy than anything else.
Don't wait until you retire to really travel. And one or two week vacations don't count.
Who are you traveling with is important too, and the mood and mind set of your companion makes all the difference. Traveling alone is best once you can get over the initial loneliness and be more proactive with approaching people to chat. Some cultures (like Brazil) are very welcoming and invite you to do things with them! One good companion is great, too, if there are calm, balanced, and open to new experience. You have to know them or just hope you jive given everyone has different ways of doing things. Family can be great, too, if it's your close group. Kids are wonderful to travel with, and you get to see the magic of the world through their eyes. Large groups aren't fun at all unless you are either doing a coordinated activity (a tour) where the decisions are made for you or you can fluidly move in and out of the group while you travel. Everyone wants to do different stuff.
Regardless, as I said, on any longer journey it will inevitably fall apart in places. Most of the time this is part of the adventure and the events you remember the most and tell stories about. Overcoming a sinking boat can give a sense of earned experience.
Of course, things really can go wrong. I used to co-edit a travel website and one of our contributing authors caught ill in Africa and just passed away. People die on the road. I've heard of bus and boating accidents, of people having heart attacks at higher altitudes, and taking falls. These are extreme events, and the more likely things you will experience (depending on where you go) can include things like officers soliciting bribes, people rifling through your bags, scams, motor accidents, weather events like fires and hurricanes, and pandemics. I've experienced all of these.
Keeping it together on the road is easier if you remember two things. First, you must asses the locus of control in any situation. What can you or can you not do? You may wish to be home or not in a situation, but you are there. Do what is in your control, talk calmly to the officer and explain, and then sometimes you must go with what happens next. Only rarely is anything so dire. Second, you must recognize when panic is impacting your decision making. This is difficult because it feels like a mix of adrenaline and higher agency decisions. This happened to me when COVID hit in Indonesia. I felt a fear that the airports and borders were closed and we would be trapped. I booked a flight to Australia (seats were selling out as I tried to book them online,) but we ended up super nervous on the taxi to the airport and even joined others running through the airport for our flight. When panic sets in the best thing to do is to take a few deep breaths and talk to some other, calmer people. Even when disasters strike it is rarely time to panic.
Finally, the best tip for keeping it together is to remember that your emotions spread. This is especially important when traveling with others. If you are panicked or upset the others around you might feel that way, too. If you can stay calm, steady, and reasonable not only will others stay calm, but you may calm yourself, too.
Like first aid training, knowing how to keep it together is a required skill.